Bird's Nest and Back

I’m pretty sore right now. In the words of my friend Stevo, “My legs have assumed Klunkatron 5000 status.” During Klunkatron 5000 status your legs feel like cement pillars. In layman’s terms, you’re bloody sore.

I’m sore today because I did my weekly pilgrimage to the Bird’s Nest … and back. I’m going to run a marathon in Hangzhou (near Shanghai) next November and I’ve been running off and on since February. Well, my body was switched OFF for 11 days, and I flipped the switch a few hours ago. Hence my Klunkatron 5000 legs.

I only live four miles from Olympic Park. It sounds exotic to say, but its become normal. Kind of like after driving past Miller Park a hundred times makes you calloused and you no longer schmusch your nose to the window in childlike awe. Well, I try to run to the Bird’s Nest and back once a week. I always feel a wee bit proud as I run down the crowded plaza, foreigners are snapping pictures alongside their guides. They are trying to capture in photos, what I call home. I’m no longer a foreigner, I’m a Beijinger.

Running in China is a challenging task.

First – horrid air quality. Beijing is a smoggy city (that may or may not be the understatement of the month), and after a few miles you start to feel your lungs tighten and complain. And around mile five you are hawking up some yellowish filth.

Second – crowds. There is a saying in China that I find pretty witty, “人山，人海：ren shan, ren hai” which means, “people mountain, people sea.” In a land of 1.3 billion and a city of 20ish million ren shan ren hai is a constant. So trying to run in the crowded streets and even more crowded parks is like playing black-haired dodge ball. I’m the blonde ball trying to dodge, duck, dive, and dodge between the black-haired masses, honking taxis, and buses that resemble boxy brontosauruses.

Third – stares. I’m an oddity when I’m wearing jeans and a t-shirt. But when I’m running in short shorts, a teal blue shirt, bandanna, and aviators – I’m like the last of my species on the planet. But to tell you the truth, I kind of like the stares. At first I was uncomfortable, I would crank up the Blink-182 (followed by Jonny Cash and The Police) on my iPod and try to outrun their prying eyes and escape their scrutiny. But after nine months, I’m used to black eyes always tracking me, if they are not then I feel like something is askew.

I must say, I’m pretty excited to get back to the blue skies and open roads of America to stretch out my Klunkatron 5000 legs.