Cockroaches

We have cockroach issues here in the Cloister.

Every morning when I wake up and groggily shuffle to the kitchen to french press myself some Alterra bliss, I flip on the lights and watch at least ten friends scuttle into the dark crevasses where no human wants to go. Every morning there's a slow one who won't live to have another midnight raid on Micah's oatmeal stash. Lately, I've been too soft, slow or lazy because I just verbally taunt them and insult their pedigrees.

When the lights come on, those cockroaches scatter with haste.


Tonight I was on the Zoomer and was scooting through Wudaokou (the Gringoland of Beijing). Looking to buy a book for the girls that I tutor on Sunday. I found a temporary village of street vendors. They have their wares on a little trailer off their electronic bike. They have little light bulbs nakedly hanging off close hangers to shed some light on their rip-off books, DVDs, roasting hazelnuts, frying stinky tofu,cheap coffee cups with 89 different patterns. You can spot these little clusters of illegal vendors from a ways away because those light bulbs are like an ant's antennae, and when 20 of them are grouped together they are tough to miss.

As I was parousing through the stack of books, I bought three copies of To Kill a Mockingbird and a copy of Red Star Over China when I heard a frantic yell that I couldn't understand, but I could make out the ending, "Kuai diarrrrrr!" Which means, "Faster! Faster!" I looked back and saw three policemen get out of a police car about 100 yards away. The vendors quickly and expertly hopped on their bikes and zoomed off to safety, yelling, "Kuai diar! Kuai diar!" Their lights were still bobbling as they scooted to the dark crevasses of safety. It was a sight to behold. These 20ish illegal vendors that were laughing and doing business had vanished within 30 seconds. It was a amazing. Some of them were laughing as they scooted to safety. This was a game to them. Set up shop, make some dough, law arrives, relocate, set up shop, make some dough... This routine of cat and mouse was their existence.

I followed my book guy. He raced off about 50 yards and stopped; threw a tarp over his books, took down his light bulb, and kept a wary eye on the fuzz. I asked him what would happen if the cops found him selling his books without a license. He said in Chinese, "They would take my money away." I asked him how much money he made a day. "200" (roughly $60). He was from Henan Province. I asked what he would do now, "Go home and sleep." Sleep for a few hours, then resume this deadly game of tag.

When the fuzz came out, those venders scattered with haste.

I imagine the cockroaches in my kitchen laugh as they flee too...