Naming the Masses

I now have a little empathy with Adam.

From the first day of class till now, Matt and I have been naming students. The students we name fall into four categories:

1) they don't have an English name

2) they want a new English name

3) their share the same mundane English name with another person in the same class (Lily, Linda, Bill, Bob, Tom, Peter)

4) we feel like liberating a child with a life-altering name (keep reading...)


I've done some homework for this post, I've written down all the unique, humorous, horrifying names our kids have. Boys are in blue and ladies in orange. I hope you enjoy these names that our kids have chosen for themselves:

Soup
Mr. Harry Bean
Harry Potter
FDR
Obama
Johnson
Farseer
Braver
Lorins
Saking
Beyond
串 Mark (串: chuan'r - the lamb shishkabob I always talk about in class)
串 Tom
George Washington
Berry
Curry
Big Mike
Brain
Garfield
Tony Xiao (xiao: small)
J.D.
Kelvein
Jhon
Riddle

Iris
Alois
Meyrin
Sills
Casper
Kyoya
Sonia Chen
Olina
Blanche


Now this next category belongs to those Mr. Matt and Mr. Micah have named...

Buford
Clint
Finn
Reggie
Topher
Darius
Davis
Ike
Jonah
Noah
Marcus
Dwight

Ruby
Ava
Salina


This next list is dedicated to the unfortunate souls next year who are looking for a new name. I'll type up these names and have them choose one. I hope they induce a giggle... A note to the reader - these names are not confined to a gender.

Father Christmas
Liberty Vallance
The Duke
Shanker
Perito
Lystra
Lazlo
Sultry
Cheeka Harris
Deltoid
Wind in His Hair
Lice
Ivan Drago
Oneida
Jericho
Stauncher
Byzantium
Cofax
Delmar
Eugene
Lex Talonis
DeBrickshaw
Israel
Mortar
Tatum
Nash
Panther
Savage
Molar
Tumbleweed
Winky
Rafer
Johnsonville
Leinenkugel
Shamu
Asherah
Ball-Bearing
Boris
Mr. Gorby
Rupert
Samsonite
Lloyd Christmas
2-Pac
Gilgal
The Colonel
Tractor Trailer
Marx
Lenin
Ho Chi Minh
Geronimo
Randerson
Phileo
Tulsa
Johnny Yuma
Amarillo
Seabiscuit
Shaw
O'Roary
Dickerson
Nemo
Carleton


I respect Adam now more than ever before...
- m -